For I am Temari, Here Are My Thoughts
by RedGobletOfRoses
Summary: This is just a one shot story about what goes on in Temari's mind. I wanted to start out simple, and I have often thought there is more to her than what the actual story line tells. From what I know of her, this should be fairly close. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_**For I am Temari Here Are My Thoughts**_,

A One Shot Story

I wonder what happens to people when they die. Being around Gaara so much makes you wonder to yourself. Is there an after life they go to? Is there nothing out there? No one seems to know, other than those of intense religion. How many ninja can you think of that are religious? My Thoughts Exactly.

I walked outside Sunagakure alone. No one to bother me; no Kankuro, no Gaara, just silence. I do this a lot, just because I am a person who on the outside is loud and outspoken, but on the inside I am thoughtful and distant. I distance myself from them a lot, as much as I can being on their team. That's not often. I train alone, I walk alone, and sometimes I feel like I live alone, even though Kankuro is there. Gaara has long since left us, as he feels that if he stayed we would be dead. I worry about him, I really do.

Some go as far to say I hate him. I say they go too far. He's my brother, my flesh and blood. Mother is dead because of him, but I don't believe she would want us to hate him. Kankuro and I never see eye to eye when we talk about this. He says she hated him too. I don't think she could have. One thing we both agree on, Father has no tolerance for him.

I stopped and thought about Mother some more. She was a kind woman who didn't deserve her fate, although it was the only way. It was two lives, or perhaps all of ours. I'd have done the same thing in her place. I would understand. It would rip my heart out, knowing what my child would have to go through, but I would do it. At least the child would benefit from it somehow. Gaara seems to.

A gust of wind came around me and kicked up the sand. I couldn't see more than a foot away from me, and for a moment I thought I saw her. I heard my name being called, "Temari," distant in the wind. I wanted to walk toward her, but I couldn't. I just knew it wasn't her, it was the desert playing tricks on my eyes. I turned around and walked the way I came.

I got back into the village from my stroll in the sand. Kankuro was about minding his business in the streets. He had a mission to do soon on his own. He was gathering his supplies. He would be gone a few days. He looked at me to acknowledge that he knew I was back. I broke eye contact and kept walking. He and I haven't really talked lightly in years. It was always about what we were to do next, where we were going, about Gaara, or something to do with Father. Never is there light conversation anymore.

I passed Gaara as well. People avoided him, stopping to let him pass them in fear. I looked at his pale green eyes in sadness and woe. He looked back, and I broke contact. He's so cold to everyone. There isn't one person in the Ninja lands that could warm his heart. If only there was one person who wouldn't fear him. Just one and I think he'd be a changed person. I want to see the Gaara that's hiding from the world. The Gaara that would be there if Shukaku wasn't in his way. The Gaara I would love as my little brother. The Gaara that will never be.

I sighed. There was too much trouble in his life. The poor kid. I walked into the compound that now belongs to Father, Kankuro, and me. Father is never here, so it's just me and Kankuro inside. I have my room and he has his.

I went straight to my room where I lay down on my bed, looking at the ceiling. Just wood looked back at me. I closed my eyes and tried to picture our family as it should be. Father, Mother, and the three of us all together. It was hard, but I fixed Gaara with a smile. It was strange, picturing him that way. Almost like it was never meant to be. Our Family will always be broken with no hope of coming together again.


	2. Chapter 2

Those were the three longest days I have ever known. The whole village was in shock, refusing to believe what really happened. We had lost everything in one night: our hope, our spirit, our Kage; my little brother. I almost lost them both to those criminals. My world was almost destroyed.

I spent three days next to Kankuro, and three nights crying, worrying about Gaara. I remember the elders, resenting the choice to turn to our allies. Who knew that it was they who would save the two who are dearest to me? I owe them everything.

Gaara; he reacted to the attack without blanching. He rose to fight single-handedly for our village, refusing to allow anyone else in harm's way. I gave his life for us, so we had a chance to live. Thank the gods that the Akatsuki member allowed him to lower his sand before he dealt the final blow. Gaara, oh how you have changed. . .

Once I heard he had died, I lost it. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. It didn't faze me that the village was still in danger. I didn't care about the traitor in our midst who sold us out to those honourless scumbags. I lost my own blood. I lost one third of what was left of me.

Once again, I owe the very existence of my family to Konohagakure. They came together to help us in our very time of need; after we turned on them and helped a monster destroy their own kage. They saved ours. They relentlessly tracked the killers down, split open everything, and nearly died themselves. Lady Chiyo lost her life, to save my baby brother. Naruto sacrificed his chakura to plant her life force into him.

I remember patrolling the borders, day and night, to prevent this from happening again while we were vulnerable. I was so afraid of what might happen without him there to lead us all. I worked tirelessly, often not sleeping for several days. My group was very active in this assignment. We worked to make sure he came home to the village exactly as he left it; stable and strong. He would know that we could protect him, no matter what it took, we weren't going to fall. We couldn't fall.

I remember when he came home. The village greeted him warmly. He couldn't keep the girls away from him. The thought brings a smile to me. Loneliness doesn't suit him well. He has changed so much; it's only fair that he finds someone to suit him. He seems so uncomfortable around women. I don't know if he'll ever get over the damage that was done during his childhood.

He's a damn good Kage, though. I don't think this village has ever been so prosperous. We are finally an equal force in the treaty. We're finally turning around from the mess Father has created and left for us. It's almost unfair that all of this rests on his shoulders. He's the youngest Kazekage, and yet, already one of the greatest.

The Chunin Exams really changed him. He came through that a changed person. Naruto showed him that there was a better way. He faced everything Gaara did, and still managed to become a beloved shinobi. There was a way to be loved, the one thing Gaara wanted, and he took that to heart.

He has changed his life, and by doing so, he has changed us all. Our home is a better place with him around. I couldn't imagine life without him. He gives us all someone to fight for. We are united under him.

He smiles, and when he does, the world lights up. People smile back, the sun shines a little brighter, the day is a little better, and the future looks a little happier. I used to think that our family could never be fixed, but now, it seems, we're finally getting closer together.

I often watch him working, hunched over documents and paperwork, sitting in various meetings with various members of the council, patrolling the village, up keeping foreign relations; various tasks of being the leader of a nation. He is so mature for his age. He is so strong, too. I can see the hurt he has endured, but I see it as a learning experience for him, no longer threatening to consume him. He has finally let it all go.

Perhaps this is a side effect of Shukaku being released from his body, or perhaps it would have happened either way. He is a different person now. To know he had such strong friends in so many places; it opened his eyes. We all love him, and we proved it to him. We're stronger now; he's stronger now.

Oh, my Gaara; little brother. You have grown so much in so little time. I used to fear you, but now, you are the beacon of strength in all of our lives. I hope you understand this. We're all counting on you. Do us proud.


End file.
